The emotion of anger & rage and how to process it

Anger is an emotion we feel and experience as sensations in our body from a young age.

Rage is extreme anger, expressed or unexpressed.

Many people are not able to express their anger due to the negative beliefs around anger which were passed on them from older generations, and who believed that anger is a negative thing and we should never show or express it. This belief suppressed the emotion of anger and caused fear around anger, especially when is communicated or expressed. Unfortunately this will never stop anger from being felt and therefore we need to find new and updated ways of how to express it in a healthy way.

In this short article I wish to share with you my personal and professional approach to anger as a result of my experience as a yoga teacher and coach and as a person who have experienced and felt anger and rage for an extensive period of time during my life. So these are the stages to process anger and/or rage:

1. Understanding it: Firstly, it takes a lot of time to understand that anger is not a negative thing, it is an emotion like all others and it appears as sensations in our physical body. What makes it scary or uncomfortable, is the way it can be expressed. When we are angry is as if we want to impulsively respond without thinking and we might say something we don't mean. When we feel rage we feel heat in our body as if we want to explode. We also might feel like braking objects or hit a door, or pushing someone away from us, or we might even think of killing someone. If we have a closer look into anger and rage we will see that anger and rage are energy that happens, (exactly like natural phenomena such as volcanoes, fires and hurricanes take place) and they need to be directed instead of dismissed.

2. Expressing it: In my approach, from my experience with my clients and myself, I realized that anger needs to be fully expressed first, but in a prepared manner within a safe place. We can express our anger through different ways while being alone or in the presence of a loved one who holds space but we should never direct our anger towards another person. Anger and rage can become very harmful to our self and others if it is directed with words and actions. What we can do instead is to prepare a safe space for ourselves where we can express our anger and rage fully and completely and we can also ask for help from someone we love and they love us to be present and hold space as we go through that painful process. An additional way that will help in this process is to visualize all the things we want to do when we experience anger and rage and really allow our imagination to go crazy.

3. Befriending it: It is essential to go through this stage of processing anger and rage as in this stage we can create and increase our awareness regarding these emotions. In this stage we see, validate and allow the emotions to be, without trying to change them or suppress what we feel. In this stage we also begin to contemplate on the emotion that was felt and expressed, and because we are no longer overwhelmed by it we are more capable now to understand what have triggered the anger. This is essential because if the emotion of anger and rage are still unexpressed or suppressed, our body and mind would be still overwhelmed and reactive, and therefore unable to enter this stage. When we release of an emotion then our body and mind are in a state of calmness, we think with more clarity and we are more attuned with our intuition. At this last stage we can understand why the specific emotion rise, what triggered it and what adjustments we can do in order to prevent it (and therefore the reaction) for the next time.

We need to understand that anger and rage does not come with or for no reason. There is always a reason in the background and a purpose in their revelation. Anger and rage are felt when boundaries are crossed from our self or others, or when a trigger is activated. When anger and rage come up we need to be compassionate with our self and others and see it as an opportunity to adjust our boundaries and heal our past wounds. We need to remember that we are not the anger or rage we feel, these are emotions that come to tell us something important, a truth we need to honor and take action for.

Thank you for reading my article. I wish you all the best on befriending the anger or rage that you might have felt or feel and be in peace with it till triggers subside and till trauma is fully healed.

I love you.

And remember,

Everything you seek, lies within your Self.

Heart to Heart,

Christina

© Christina Georgiou