17 symptoms of Relational Trauma explained

What many of us tend to do, especially after being hurt from a relationship, is to judge ourselves and the people we were once in a relationship with for the hurt we experienced.

What is important to understand is that behind the dynamics of such an experience and the root cause of our hurt and wounding there is always trauma that most of the time involves both us and the other person.

Here are 17 symptoms of relational trauma and if we see them as trauma-responses and NOT as malevolent behaviors that intend to hurt us we will be able to process and eventually forgive ourselves and others while supporting each other in our healing journey:

1. Neediness, over-dependence on others & inability to respond to their own needs as an endeavor to heel from unmet needs & neglect from earlier stages.

2. Volatile, uncontrollable emotions due to the fact that the healthy way to express emotions was not modelled to them and they didn't receive co-regulation.

3. Poor self-esteem & a lack of self-confidence due to abuse, shaming, neglect, abandonment and rejection from their caregivers.

4. Helplessness or frustration in the face of stressful situations as they have felt repeatedly alone and unsupported to deal with difficult events in everyday life.

5. Fear & mistrust of intimacy, even though romantic relationships are desired due to the experience of being harmed from the people who meant to love them instead.

6. Social anxiety & inability to make friends or socialize in public as they have never experienced social engagement & healthy inclusion with their own family.

7. Mistrust of or hostility toward authority figures as the first people who took care of them betrayed them.

8. Antisocial personality traits & attitudes are also a frequent behavior due to the unhealthy relational dynamics that were being built for years.

9. Manipulative, selfish behavior is learned because there was no other way for them to meet their needs from those who had to care for them.

10.Negativity, cynicism & pessimism about the future and the world in general feels like a natural way for them to do after the trauma they endured.

11. Learning or discipline problems in school as they had to focus on surviving instead of thriving.

12. Developmental delays usually because of the high stress and survival mode. 13. Depression, lethargy, low motivation.

14. Constant aches, pains, and illness, but without apparent medical causes.

15. Reliving past trauma, vividly and frequently.

16. Avoidant behavior towards people, places, events, or situations that might remind the person of their traumatic experiences.

17. Inconsistent, neglectful, or abusive parenting styles that lead to the cycle of relational trauma to be repeated and passed down to generations.

Thank you for reading, and remember that everything you seek is already within you.

Heart to Heart,

Christina

  © Christina Georgiou